Thirteen Fonts and Their Personalities

Jeevan Sivasubramaniam Posted by Jeevan Sivasubramaniam, Managing Director, Editorial, Berrett-Koehler Publishers Inc.



Thirteen Fonts and Their Personalities

1. Comic Sans: The passive-aggressive font that thinks it's witty. It's nit-picky and complaining but does so passively for fear of actual confrontation. Look! I am raising a major issue but I’m a fun font so don’t think I’m angry or anything (even though I am).

2. Papyrus: The new Comic Sans because it is almost as hated. Papyrus is what non-artsy people with no design sense think is artsy and has a nice design.

3. Courier: The hipster font — trying to be ironic and retro but in the end just looking ugly and silly.

4. Arial and Helvetica: The factory workers of the font world — no nonsense, simple, and get the job done without fancy posturing.

5. Times New Roman: The snooty elitist font. It claims to be liberal but is a bit of a dandy and secretly harbors delusions of grandeur.

6. Zapf Dingbats would be the schizophrenic font.

7. Franklin Gothic: Used by self-important people who actually think their philosophy degree was useful.

8. Brush Script: A distant cousin of comic sans and equally inbred-looking.

9. Bauhaus: Used by vampires who also like disco music due to its dark-yet-cheesy appearance.

10. Braggadocio: You are a theater major and every aspect of your life has drama. No one likes you.

11. Curlz: You are a teenage girl circa 1982

12. Verdana: The font with absolutely no personality that no one remembers. Do you know what Verdana looks like? No, you don't, because it is utterly forgettable.

13. Impact: The font that was created exclusively for memes and other silliness. People who use Impact vastly overestimate their wit.